If you’ve ever lived through a really hard season, you know that when it’s over and you’ve made it to the other side, it’s easier to see the good that came out of it.

I shared in my first post on this blog how difficult 2022 was for my family and me. How my mental, physical, and emotional health was somewhat in jeopardy, and I had to do some really hard work to get healthy.

And you guys, healing is hard. Healing takes daily effort. And it takes a long time to see the results. But today, on my 11th anniversary I’m celebrating my health and healing!

A year ago vs. now

A year ago I was super depressed, now I’m living a vibrant life that makes getting out of bed and facing the day something I look forward to. (Ok, let’s not go too far, if you know me, you know I love sleep and my bed. So I don’t look forward to the specific ACT of getting out of bed, but my corrected serotonin levels makes it a lot easier.)

A year ago my marriage was coming off a really rocky season. Now Stuart and I are celebrating a year of talking through our disagreements together. Less fighting, less yelling, less anger, and less shutting down. We still have our moments, (I mean it’s marriage, amiright) but those moments go by much quicker than before.

A year ago, my hormones, sleep, and weight were out of whack. I was exhausted all the time, experiencing horrible periods, and becoming insulin-resistant. Now, I’m on thyroid medication, my sleep is normalized, I’ve lost 65 pounds, and no longer insulin-resistant. I’m also down to taking 1/4 of the amount of blood pressure medication than I was.

(Side note: ya’ll after last year, I believe so strongly that our bodies are the physiological expression of our mental and emotional health. My physical health didn’t start to change until I did the hard work of sifting through EVERYTHING I had swept under the carpet to deal with another day. If your body is acting up and you can’t figure out why – it’s trying to tell you something. Don’t ignore or dismiss the impact your mental health has on your physical health. Ok, soapbox moment over.)

A year ago I was ANGRY. I was angry with Stuart, I was angry with myself, I was angry with my life, and I was super angry at God. Now I see that the anger was a part of the healing process, and I have been able to let go of so much hardness and resentment. God continues to show me new mercies to come out of each hardship, and pours out his love and grace through relationships and friendships in my life.

A year ago I was uncertain about my life’s purpose (beyond being a wife and mother). I had just left staff with Athletes in Action/Cru, which had been my life for 14 years, realized the business I started wasn’t a good fit for my life, and was left feeling incredibly aimless and blasé about life.

Now I have almost a year of substitute teaching under my belt, during which I discovered a passion for teaching and being a trustworthy person for kids who come from very chaotic and unsettled homes. I’m working on getting my teaching license so one day I can have my own classroom! (Which ironic enough is what I started out studying in college, before switching to marketing, which is pretty much a futile degree now that social media marketing has taken over. But hey, a bachelors is a bachelors.)

A year ago Stuart and I were celebrating a decade of marriage, wiping the sweat from our foreheads, having barely survived the previous 6 months. Now we’re celebrating a decade + a year full of better health, a better marriage, and an exciting future.

To my sweetie

So to Stuart I write thank you. Thank you for being there for me when I was at my worst. Thank you for being super Dad and husband, taking on so much extra so I could work through my stuff. Thank you for working through your own stuff so we could be healthier together. And thank you for continuing to pursue me and love me, even when I’m stubborn. (Alleged stubbornness – I’m not admitting to anything!)

We have come so far, and as hard as it was, I’m so glad we did the work instead of ignoring or hiding from it. We came through stronger: fighting for each other rather than with each other. (Even though we still do that occasionally, we ARE human.)

I love you and can’t wait to see what the next decade + 1 year has in store for us!

Till next time,

Jenn

P.S. if you need someone to talk to, I am always available. Or if you have questions or want to know more about a specific aspect of mental health, marriage, or motherhood, please don’t hesitate to email me at hiitsmejennblog @ gmail.com. (Or text me for those of you who have my number.)